


Numbness

by waynejokes



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Batman: Arkham - All Media Types
Genre: (Kinda not) One sided attraction, Character Study, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Unhealthy Relationships, pre Arkham Asylum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 17:49:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19750726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waynejokes/pseuds/waynejokes
Summary: Batman knows that listening to the Joker's rambling while waiting for the police to arrest him is definitely a bad idea. He knows the best he can do is ignore him and keep his mouth shut until it's all over. He really knows.But it's easier said than done.





	Numbness

"Do you feel it as well?", Joker asked. He was tied down, sitting on the floor, looking at Batman with lethal eyes and dilated pupils. "I know you do, I just want you to tell me."

They were both waiting for the police to arrive and get the Joker back to Arkham. Back where he belonged, even though it was a matter of time until he escaped again.

It had been a tough fight — an extremely draining, nasty and wrong one, as it always was when he was involved. Even though Bruce won, it didn't feel like a victory at all. And it had nothing to do with a few broken bones.

"Don't you dare ignoring me, Batsy, I need to know", he said, visibly losing his patience.

Bruce knew that talking to him was a bad idea. A terrible idea, in fact. Maybe if he could get some information, something that could actually help, talking to him would be useful. But it wasn't, because Joker just knew how to push his buttons. He would lose his temper before discovering anything, like any other time he had tried it.

"I thought you already knew", Bruce replied. It was definitely a bad idea, really, but he did it anyway.

"Don't try to be funny, darling", Joker said, unamused. "Aren't you gonna ask what I meant?".

"You'd love that", Bruce answered, the hint of a smile forming on his lips. He was tired. So, so tired that the thought of them talking as if they were friends seemed funny. In a way he didn't like at all.

"Doesn't matter, big boy, I'll ask you anyway," he started again, relentless, "do you feel the numbness as well?".

Bruce's whole body tensed at the question. Numbness, that sure was a familiar feeling. He lived with it as if he were only half alive — half asleep, half dead, half existing. Constantly moving as if an invisible force kept his body weak, slow, inefficient. That numbness he knew oh so well, that numbness he wanted no one to know about.

"I don't", he replied, as coldly as usual.

Joker's laugh echoed in the room. A sharp, twisted sound that made him shiver.

"You're a terrible liar, my love", Joker purred, testing him. "Can't even look me in the eye while telling such a bad, bad joke".

Bruce didn't want to lock eyes with him. Every time he did, he hated what he saw in them.

"We are not alone anymore, Bats. I've got your back", he said after a while, expecting an answer.

The fact that the clown saw them as partners made him nauseous. He stood right there, praying for it to be over soon.

"Fine, don't say anything. Keep denying the truth, pushing everyone else away and telling yourself that _this_ doesn't feel good. But you know what?", he seemed angry. No smiles this time, he sounded more serious than ever. "No matter how many times you repeat yourself that you don't need me, _you will always come back to me_ ".

"Enough", Batman warned him, his voice low and menacing. But the clown wasn't willing to stop.

"Because deep down, you know that I take the numbness away — that every time we fight, every time we dance, you feel alive again", he said. "And I know it must be hard to admit, I really do. A lonely king who's never had a jester can do nothing but worry, worry, worry. But you don't have to be afraid anymore, my king, because your jester _feels the same way about you_ ".

Bruce finally looked at him, fists closed and blood boiling. The worst part about it was knowing that he really meant every single word. What he felt for Batman was the closest thing to love the Joker was able to feel. And if it weren't that gross, if it weren't the clown, maybe Bruce would have pitied him for having such a _twisted_ sense of love.

But right now? Right now, all he could feel was hate. Hate, _guilt_ , disgust, all at once.

"You don't know what love is", he answered after a long, long pause. "You think you understand me, but if you really did you would know that I hate you — that we hate each other".

Joker smiled, his eyes glowing in the dark as the police sirens sounded closer every second.

"Love, hate, I don't really see the difference. As long as you keep dancing with me, you can feel whatever you want", he said. "But whenever you look at me, feel something. Even if it hurts, even if it kills you, _feel it_. Let me be the one who soothes your numbness, Bats".

As the police entered the building, Bruce didn't have the courage to reply. Not that he would have found the right words if he tried.

"We have the Joker. Batman's here", reported one of the cops, gun on hand. By the time he stopped talking, Batman had already disappeared into the darkness.

"Looks like we will have to pick up this conversation next time, my king", Joker said, slightly uncooperative once the cops made him stand up. "Don't you have any manners? We were having an important conversation and you ruined it all".

To everyone else, Joker's speech was nonsense, a mad man's rambling that Batman would never hear. But the clown knew he was watching. That's why he always kept talking, because he had realized long ago that his bat never left before being completely sure that his greatest enemy had no more tricks up his sleeve. And, of course, the clown would never miss the opportunity of performing in front of the person he _loved_ the most.

"Miss me, Bats! Think about me, imagine how satisfying it will be when we meet again!", he shouted, gesturing, laughing and throwing kisses, exaggerating every single move. But then he suddenly lowered his voice, just enough for him to listen. "Take care of _our_ kingdom while I'm gone".

His laugh merged with the sound of the police sirens. Red and blue lights blurred Bruce's vision for a moment until he gathered himself and finally left the building.

Bruce didn't return home right away, though he did answer Alfred's calls after a while just to let him know he was all right.

But he wasn't. Not now that he was alone and all he could feel was that numbness again. Not now that he knew he was insane enough to understand what the Joker was talking about.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi! This is the first fic I've ever written in english and I surprisingly enjoyed it a lot soooo I might write a second chapter if I feel like it, I guess?
> 
> Anyway, hope y'all liked this even though it's short!


End file.
